Minding the Gap

Having five years between kids used to seem like a good idea...

I used to brag about the age gap between my kids.

“Oh yeah, it’s worked out great! The 5(or 6, or 7)-year-old is pretty self-sufficient, i.e., he can grab something to eat and turn on the TV without killing himself, which allows us to care for the baby/toddler that can’t and won’t be able to do anything for himself any time soon. It’s perfect!”

I wasn’t lying. The age gap was one of the few topics I was able to genuinely praise without adding my typical snark. We thought we were geniuses. And for good reason!

Those 5+ years between their ages was a boon! The gap wasn’t exactly planned—Mom and Buried and I both sort of assumed we do the typical 2-3 years between kids, but life got in the way—so by the time we had The Hammer, Detective Munch was already 5.

It didn’t necessarily seem ideal beforehand, but it actually was pretty close to ideal - for a while.

It’s not ideal anymore. 

Five years between a baby and a kindergartner is one thing. Five years between a teen and a second grader is another.

Detective Munch is about to enter 8th grade (I hate that “rising” terminology and I won’t use it!) and is about to enter official teenhood (I say official because behavior wise he’s been a teen for at least 5 years already) in September and we’re bracing for puberty and slamming doors and all that fun stuff.  The Hammer is entering second grade and isn’t yet 8 years old, and we’re hanging on to little kid-ness for as long as we can. 

But it’s not our relationships with them that are the tricky part (though those aren’t exactly flawless either) - it’s their relationship with each other. Especially on family movie nights. Finding a movie that appeals to a 12yo, a 7yo, and two adults, is not easy, and with both kids suffering from a complete inability to compromise, family movie nights have become ever more contentious than family board game nights!

That inability to compromise is no joke. Siblings are siblings, and they’re bound to butt heads - god knows I did with my older brothers. But the age gap makes it even worse. Munch sees his little brother getting special treatment, as the baby of the family (which, fair; his lingering little kid cuteness goes a long way!) and The Hammer feels like he’s being abused by his older brother, which he often is, and neither of them wants to give an inch.

Finding common ground is impossible, and not jut when it comes to movies. They argue about everything, neither of them is willing to concede anything. The Hammer usually just wants to hang out with his awesome big bro, and Detective Munch often just wants to get away from his clingy little brother.

Maybe as Detective Munch gets older, he’ll start to mature a bit and shift into protective mode (fingers crossed!), and even start to dote on his little brother. Maybe when their interests get far enough afield, there won’t be as much for them to fight about, and the age gap will circle back and become beneficial once again!

Or maybe I’ll just have to wait until one of them goes off to college.

Social Media Round-Up

Pop Culture Stuff

I’ve started showing my 12yo one of my old favorite shows: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

He’s always begging to watch horror movies, and he’s seen a few, but we know him a little better than he knows himself, so we’ve been shielding him from the hardcore stuff. Buffy isn’t exactly horror, but it scratches that itch just enough! Plus it’s funny and smart and well-written.

We’re only on season one - and I’m picking and choosing episodes, because the show doesn’t really find itself until the end of the first season, and even when we get to seasons 2 and 3 - which are absolute bangers! - nobody’s got time to watch every single episode of the long-ass seasons network TV shows used to have.

Let’s not talk about Joss Whedon being canceled because next I want to show him Firefly.

The Dad and Buried Podcast

New episode alert! This is the long-awaited recap of our amazing trip to Mexico and our stay at the Hotel Paradisus all-inclusive resort. We go deep on how things went, including our visit to Chichen Itza, where I lost 5 pounds because there’s a reason most people go to Mexico in the winter!

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