Help Self

Men's mental health in 2025. And Weapons!

Like many (most?) men, I tend to keep my emotional struggles inside. Or so I like to think.

Often, they bubble up in a consistent simmer of grumbly moodiness, with occasional misplaced outbursts when they’ve become too much to bear.

It’s not just anger. It’s anxiety, fear, insecurity, regret, sadness, worry; pretty much everything that has a celebrity voice in the Inside Out movies. (Emphasis on Inside.)

Which is the problem. It’s not the emotions themselves that are the issue, it’s putting a lid on them. Because they always find their way out.

Stoicism is overrated. And outdated. And (self-)destructive.

I may be “staying strong” but my emotions are being expressed. Just the wrong ones, at the wrong times, about the wrong things. That’s not cathartic, it doesn’t resolve anything, and worst of all, it’s not healthy.

It’s not healthy for me and it’s definitely not good for or fair to my family. I’ve yet to do much about it, because I’m a selfish idiot, but as pressures mount amid a summer of stress, something’s gotta give.

I would never consider myself a so-called “alpha male” because I’m not a zero-sum meathead, and I have empathy and respect for women, the LGBTQA+ community, and other people in general. I also want my kids to grow up in a non-toxic environment without falling prey to macho stereotypes, but I’d be lying if I said some of the stereotypes don’t apply to me. I grew up in the 80s!

I don’t cry, I don’t go to therapy, I don’t meditate, and I don’t microdose (except for a few times in college, minus the micro IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN).

I don’t have any problem with those things - I honestly suspect I would like therapy! - I just haven’t quite gotten there.

Yet…

Summer is supposed to be for taking it easy, but these past few months have been fraught with anxiety, stress, and unease.

Some of it stems from typical adulthood anxiety (money, work, health), some of it is general parenthood stress (I have a teenager), some of it is topical 2025 unease (you know; if I listed it all we’d be here for days. Just read Project 2025. ), but these warmer months have been anything but relaxing.

And I get the feeling that I’m not alone. Pretty much anyone with a brain and/or a conscience (not you, MAGA) is struggling right now. But that’s not an excuse. Life is life, we’re all going through it, and getting through it, as best we can.

Every generation, every decade, every year has its share of scary news and alarming events. Every parent alive is dealing with the challenges of raising our unique and beautiful snowflakes (complimentary) with their unique and beautiful quirks (derogatory). Most every adult has to soldier through the harsh realities of responsibility, the unpredictability of health and work and childcare, the limitations of not being part of the 1%, etc.

The good news, if you want to call it that, is that we’re all in this together! (Unless you are part of the 1%, in which case: fuck you, pay more taxes!)

So yeah, things haven’t been great lately. What else is new? 2025 is a tough beat. But no matter what year it is, what phase of parenting you’re in, what stage of America’s decline you’re living through, some things are always the same: life is life, the world is the world, kids are kids.

We all have problems, big and small. There’s no way around that, but there are ways to cope, and, more importantly, there are ways to cope that won’t add to those problems, or make them worse, or make things worse for the people around you. I know this, and while I have yet to act on it, knowing is half the battle.

Unfortunately, acting on that knowledge is the harder half.

Too bad for me, I guess, because it’s time to start exploring some solutions. Not only because I want to be in a better place, mentally, for myself and for family, but also because I want to show my kids that there are ways to get help when you’re not in a good place mentally. And that not only is there nothing wrong with taking advantage of those tools, it can be irresponsible not to.

Thankfully, they already have a good example of that very thing.

My wife has a chronic illness. And if watching her navigate the many complications her illness brings—complications for her, for us, for our whole family, but first and foremost for her—has taught me one thing, it’s that she’s stronger than I’ll ever be.

If it’s taught me two things, it’s that taking care of yourself is a full-time job, and maybe the most important one. (You’ve gotta put your oxygen mask on first!) So she sees countless doctors, deals with countless medications, and juggles countless worries as she seeks the best way to manage her condition and still be a great wife, mom, and friend.

The least I can do is try to manage mine, for the good of myself, my wife, and my kids.

To be clear: I am not in crisis. But I don’t want to suddenly find myself in crisis either.

So let me update that little list I laid out above (and if you have other suggestions, send them my way!):

I don’t go to therapy—yet.

I don’t take medication—yet.

I don’t meditate—yeah, that one’s never gonna happen.

I don’t microdose—but hit me up. 😜

Social Media Round-up

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Pop Culture Stuff

I saw Weapons! I liked Weapons!

Here’s the thing with Weapons: it’s gotten a ton of hype, like Longlegs did, and any movie with a ton of hype has the odds stacked against it. One of the reasons Sinners was so universally beloved is that it came out of nowhere. Even if you knew it was coming, you didn’t know much about it. With Longlegs and Weapons, the hype was at a fever pitch, settling expectations aflame. The early ecstatic reviews for Weapons only made it worse, so that by the time you sit down, you’re expecting it to change your life.

Furthermore, the “why did these kids go all disappear” set-up of Weapons (which survived the hype cycle more successfully than Longlegs, which I enjoyed but is mostly vibes) seems to hint at some grand thematic statement, or at least a “big” reveal. There is a reveal, and the movie does a hell of a job using some structural tricks to frustrate us and rachet up the tension as we approach it, but the explanation isn’t mind-blowing or groundbreaking. It’s maybe even a little small-time, at first blush, and your initial reaction might be “is that it?” But that doesn’t mean it isn’t satisfying. Or that the last 20-30 minutes of the movie isn’t the best part.

Anyway, go see it, and then go see it a second time, without all the anticipatory baggage!